Senior Project Manager
As a longtime
employee at PSG, I harbored a deep, dark secret—one I kept from all my
pun-loving (get it?) coworkers: I hate puns. I’m not usually one to withhold my
opinions (Prefer cats? No way; dogs are superior in every way.), but I’m
embarrassed to admit I felt intimidated by the overwhelming adoration of all
things pun by literally every other staff member in the office, especially Annette
Cinelli Trossello, senior
editor and fellow project manager. I would find myself fake laughing as puns
were offered up in workplace banter instead of groaning like I really wanted
to. One day, I was feeling a little brave and mentioned my actual disdain for
the pun to a couple of coworkers—and then was promptly outed the next day at
our staff meeting. I’m pretty sure Annette will never let me live it down. The
truth is, I feel better now that my secret has been exposed. Yes, I have to
endure the (mostly) harmless badgering of some coworkers for my former secret,
but at least now I’m free to roll my eyes when those puns get trotted out at
meetings.
Puns are polarizing.
Supporters find them clever and a welcome addition to a conversation. Detractors
find them silly and an abrupt end to a conversation. There are really only two
possible responses to a pun: “Ha, ha, I like what you’ve done there,” or (the
correct), “Please, stop.” Either way, the conversation has come to a screeching
halt. Charlie
Hopper, contributor to McSweeney’s, hits on one reason why puns are so bad: “The pun is
not your friend. The pun fools you into thinking you’ve had an idea. It pesters
and woos you . . . by making you feel clever.” Kind of reminds me of the people
who love puns. Why are they so desperate to prove they are funny?
The internet is littered with sites claiming to offer “amusing” puns that even
pun-haters will get a chuckle from. But, so far, I haven’t found a single one
funny—just groan-worthy. Same goes for this
one and this
one. Hopper also notes, “A pun is rarely
funny.” Clearly, I agree.
John Pollack,
author of The Pun Also Rises (Guess
which side of the argument he comes down on? There are even more puns in his
subtitle—I’ll spare you.), would have you believe that pun-haters find puns “threatening
because [they] reveal the arbitrariness of meaning, and the layers of nuance
that can be packed onto a single word.” He thinks, “people who dislike puns
tend to be people who seek a level of control that doesn’t exist.” This need for control in such situations may
be nothing new, as it was once said over a century ago that “to trifle with the vocabulary which is the
vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human
intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would
invade the recesses of the paternal till without remorse. . . .”
I won’t comment on my
control-freak nature or my attachment to the correct use of the English
language, but these arguments are missing the main point that puns are intended
to be funny, but aren’t. Case closed.
Did You Know?
Lest you think me
lonely and friendless toiling away in the offices of PSG as the only pun-hater on
staff, after a brief adjustment period, I am slowly gaining acceptance even
with my minority viewpoint. Frequent pun-cracker Annette and I have agreed to
disagree—vehemently.
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